


How This Works

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance, Rosalina having NONE of Bowser’s BS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 02:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18379343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: “Okay, I’m not entirely sure you get how this whole ‘kidnapping’ thing works.”“I’m certain I get the gist.” replied Rosalina coolly. “You abduct women in vain efforts to make them love you because you feel insecure. And are scared to give online dating a try. Now, about that water?”





	How This Works

“I would like some water, please.” A pause. “Sparkling.”

Bowser sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, glaring through half-lidded eyes at the blond woman before him. “Okay, I’m not entirely sure you get how this whole ‘kidnapping’ thing works.”

“I’m certain I get the gist.” replied Rosalina coolly. “You abduct women in vain efforts to make them love you because you feel insecure. And are scared to give online dating a try. Now, about that water?”

Kammy Koopa barely suppressed a snort of laughter, covering it with a hacking ‘cough’, Bowser fuming red in response. “Ya ain’t gettin’ any water, so just push that thought outta your head.”

“I asked nicely. Sparkling water, please.”

“For the last time, woman, you—”

Bowser’s words were cut off as he felt a sharp jerk behind his navel, yanking him forward and crashing into the iron bars dividing him and the space queen. How this was happening, they didn’t know. The second they grabbed Rosalina, they took her wand and bound her up with as much rope as they could; she shouldn’t have been able to move a finger, much less do...whatever it was she was doing.

“Excuse me?” spoke Rosalina in an icy tone that demanded attention. “What did you just call me.”

Nervous sweat broke on Bowser’s head at the lookin Rosalina’s face. While it was calm and impassive, the look in her eyes was a blazing, roaring inferno that promised entire galaxies of pain.

“Captive or no…” Rosalina said, in such a slow and deliberate pace it fully demanded attention and listening. “I am not merely a woman. I am a queen, and you _will_ address me with the respect to which I have earned. Is that clear, King Bowser?”

Bowser, too stricken with sudden fear, didn’t respond. Rosalina’s eyes narrowed and Bowser felt himself get pulled against the bars harder. “Is. That. Clear.”

“C-Crystal, crystal as a star, Queen Rosalina!”

Smiling, Rosalina tilted her head, letting Bowser fall to the floor. “I am thankful we could come to an understanding. Sparkling water, please. Cherry-flavored if you have it.”

Bowser scurried to his feet and grabbed Kammy, racing out of the dungeon without so much as a glance back. 

Once they left, Rosalina returned to her bedding. With a tilt of her head, she shrugged off the ropes and stretched, working the kinks out of her body. A snap of her fingers, and a book appeared. “Now, where was I…” she asked, thumbing through the pages.

-/-/-/-/-

Bowser leaned against the door, trying desperately to catch his breath while Kammy patted his leg comfortingly. “Are you quite alright, Your Frazzledness?”

“Kammy…” wheezed Bowser. “I think I’m in love.”


End file.
